“You will never be alone”
|Adam Dreksler represented Poland for the first time at the Wroclaw Cup. Image: HWC/Rebecca Corbett
“Now I learn to dream”
37-year-old Adam Dreksler represented Poland at the Wroclaw Cup in Poland. The Wroclaw Cup is an annual street football tournament organised by our Polish partner Stowarzyszenie Reprezentacja Polski Bezdomnych (Polish Homeless National Street soccer Team Association).
Born and raised in Częstochowa in Southern Poland, the 37-year-old goalkeeper is proud to represent his home nation at their annual international tournament.
A lot has changed for Adam since 2019. As the world stopped because of the global pandemic, Adam’s life as he knew it stopped too.
“I was an alcoholic, a gambler and took amphetamines. I finished therapy almost two years ago and now I am clean for almost three years.”
“I have a job, I have a family, I have a girlfriend and I don’t know what I want for my life, so I start playing football. I played when I was 18, I think maybe I try to return and now I’ve been in the Polish national team for a year.”
It’s his 10th tournament playing with the team. The majority have been smaller local tournaments, the Wroclaw Cup is his first international tournament.
|Adam with Pawel Matusik, addiction therapist and team mental health coach. Photo: HWC/Rebecca Corbett
“I didn’t have a dream when I was child, I thought I will play but I’m not good enough to play with the national team. So now I learn to dream, this for me – playing with the national team, I feel like I’m dreaming.”
“I meet many people, with similar problems as me and we are very different people – [Adam looks around at the other teams watching the action] this mix of people – this is fantastic. This is fantastic because everyone can stop drinking, gambling or being drunk.”
Adam first started drinking at 15, like many teenagers his age, he would have a drink on a Saturday with his friends.
This continued until he was in his early twenties, a casual drink here or there, but then he started to drink more often.
“Then my drinking isn’t only Saturday and Sunday – it’s four days a week. I was drinking when I was happy, when I was sad, I don’t have a reason why I was drinking.”
This gradually built up in his twenties and by the time Adam was thirty, he was drinking every day. He stopped meeting his girlfriend and friends, instead choosing to get drunk. Then he started to gamble.
Things got worse when he moved to England. “When I was 33, I was in England, I spent all my money. I had a good job – paying £700-800 per week, sometimes £1000 per week. I would spend all the money on Saturday and Sunday, everything I have in the casino gambling.
“When I’m in the morning I must take amphetamines to start, next I must drink because I want to sleep. I spent all my money. I think my next shot is probably my last shot. I weighed a lot. I check my blood pressure and it’s always too high. One day I took my friend and my girlfriend back to Poland and I say, I must do something.”
Starting therapy
Adam decided he needed to start therapy to tackle his addiction, he didn’t want to die.
“It’s not a good story, I start therapy, but I’m thinking – ‘What do they want from me? I don’t have a problem.’ Same as everyone I’m thinking, ‘I’m working, ok I’m drinking but it’s not too much.’ Very quickly I forget my problem and why I went back to Poland.
“I think, this weekend I can have one beer. This is Pandora’s Box opening. When I drink, I am drinking more than the first time, more than before I started therapy. For a month every day I drank a bottle of vodka. Next was one and a half bottles. I spent all my money and once again I find myself back in therapy.”
“I think when people first go into therapy – whether one day, two days, two weeks, something changes in your head, in your mind and you realise ‘I do have a problem’. But I didn’t hear that, so I started therapy six times.”
“When I went for the sixth time, I remember thinking, this is my last time. I need a rest. I don’t feel there is a next time. I think maybe the next shot is my last shot. When I drink, I will die.”
Going into therapy for the sixth time, Adam’s attitude has changed: “I go in thinking I need to hear what they have to say. My year in therapy was like a year at school with a teacher I hated, it was very hard, but I finished.”
“Now I’ve been clean for almost three years. Every day is fantastic. I learned the kind of problems can be fixed, it’s hard but it’s better. My life after is better.”
When I ask Adam what advice he would give to someone who is in the middle of addiction, he said: “Nobody is alone. When you want to see it, you will meet people who want to help. You will never be alone.”
Find out more about Polish partner Stowarzyszenie Reprezentacja Polski Bezdomnych (Polish Homeless National Street soccer Team Association) here.
Words: Rebecca Corbett
*Some quotes have been edited for clarity